Friday, November 16, 2012

Hippie And A Nun Sex Joke

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

Funny Prostitute joke

A man on a business trip to Las Vegas heard about how good the Las Vegas prostitutes were so on his first night there, he decided he would go out and try his luck.

He walked outside his hotel and looked up and down the street and saw an attractive girl standing on the corner. He approached her and asked her if she is working tonight and sure enough she said "Meet me in room 804 across the street." He was in luck. She was a knockout.
They got to the room and he sat down anxiously on the edge of the bed. She asked him what he wanted and he thought for a second, then said "How much for a hand job?" She said, "300". His eyes popped open and he asked "300?" She said, "Walk over to that window and open the curtains". He proceeded. "See that motel down there? I own it, and I didn't inherit it. I'm that good." He was like, "well go right ahead honey". So she proceeded to give him the best hand job he ever had.

After a little rest he thought, if that was that good...."How much for a blow job?" She said "600". OH MY GOD!! was his reply. She told him to walk back over to the window. "See that 15 story hotel? I own it and I didnt inherit it. I'm that good." He said "Well get to work then sweetie." And sure enough he got the best blow job he ever received.

After a little "rebuilding" time he thought, if that was that good...."How much for sex?" She chuckled and said, "Honey, I'd own this whole damned town if only I had a pussy."

Mom assumes son is Gay

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom" ~Queen

Monday, November 12, 2012

No someone who sells crafts? Crafts Facebook Group

If anyone knows anyone who sells crafts, let me know! Ray DeFord runs a sellers facebook group and would love more people to communicate and network with. He runs www.facebook.com/nativerosecrafts Amazing Native American Indian crafts He makes amazing Dream Catchers 

Comment below the persons facebook page and we'll get him in the facebook group
Native Rose Crafts - Homemade Indian Crafts For Sale
Amazing Dream catchers for sale!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Star Wars Episode VII 7 Trailer

This is a Day in the life of Darth Vader. 

Bohemian Rhapsody Parody: Nintendohemian



  • Published on Oct 25, 2012
    Brentalfloss & Pat team up for this epic Nintendo ballad!
    Buy the single here: http://brentalfloss.bandcamp.com/
    More of Brentalfloss here: http://youtube.com/brentalfloss
    Follow Pat on twitter: http://twitter.com/patthenespunk

    Lyrics and vocals by Pat The NES Punk & brentalfloss
    Mixed & mastered by Joe Skinner
    ***Lyrics***
    Is this the real life, or 8-bit fantasy?
    These classic games are my escape from reality
    Blow on the cart, insert and press start with me

    PAT: I love Nintendo
    BRENT: It is no mystery
    PAT: Because it's Mega Man
    BOTH: Mario
    PAT: Little Mac,
    BOTH: And Nemo
    PAT: When I play Nintendo, it's so very special to me...
    BRENT: To me
    ...Mama, just lost again. It was nice, but then I died,
    and I can't find the strategy guide

    PAT:
    Mama, the game had just begun
    But now I've gone and thrown the fun away!

    BRENT: Mama... ooh... I think I made the princess cry...

    PAT: When I come home right after school tomorrow
    I'll game on till the dawn, because Sega doesn't matter
    Too late, my lives are gone
    Nintendo Power's got no tips
    And that game counselor's a dick
    I bought new controllers, but nothing helps

    BRENT: And slow mo makes the pain just hurt much more
    Mama, ooo-ooooh,
    PAT: When we play Nintendo

    BRENT: I want to beat this game!

    PAT: I'd use a Game Genie, but that's so freakin' lame!

    BRENT: I see a little guy is he an extra man?

    SCARY GAMES:
    Silly Douche! Silly douche! You'll get no extra man, no!

    PAT: Crazy difficulty, feels like you're insulting me!

    BRENT: Old Nintendo!
    PAT: Old Nintendo!
    BRENT: Used to beat it!
    PAT: We were ten though!

    SCARY: Games were harder then, you know!
    BOTH: Oh is that so?! (oh-oh-oh-oh)

    BRENT: I'm a decent gamer, why is this not easy?

    SCARY GAMES: You're just a loser and you suck, verily!
    Can't beat a game from back when you were three!

    PAT: Is there no easy mode? Or a secret code?
    SCARY GAMES: Bad Ga-mah No! You'll get no cheating code!
    PAT: Eat a toad!
    SCARY GAMES: Lame Gamer! There is no easy mode!
    BOTH: What a load!
    SCARY GAMES: Bad Gamer! There is no easy mode!

    BRENT: Easy mode!
    SCARY GAMES: There's no secret code!
    PAT: Secret code!
    SCARY GAMES: Never, never, never there's no code
    PAT & BRENT: Oh, what's the code oh oh oh!
    SCARY GAMES: NO, NO EASY MODES, OR CODES!
    BRENT: (As Mario) Oh Mamma Mia! Mamma mia!
    SCARY GAMES: ASK YOUR MAMA FOR A CODE!
    PAT: Miyamoto, will you ever make it easy for me?
    BRENT: For me?
    PAT: For meeeeeeee?!
    ...So you think you can punch me and blacken my eye?

    BRENT: So you think that your demon will leave me to die?!
    PAT: Nooooooo, Wily! Can't do this to me Wily!
    BRENT: Just gotta play on! Just gotta play on without fear!

    BOTH: Ooh yeah! Ooh yeah!

    BRENT: 8-bit games aren't easy, anyone can see

    PAT: Time to play the next one, prove I'm a real gamer ... to me

    BOTH:
    When we play Nintendo...

The Ultimate Slip and slide


I Would love to do a video like this with these guys
Download the song, One Afternoon, by Scott & Brendo!!!
iTunes: http://bit.ly/V9WzkV | Amazon: http://amzn.to/Rww75q

We're on Facebook!
http://www.facebook.com/scottbrendo

Created by Scott Winn & Jay Davis | Directed by Scott Winn

Cinematographers:
Mark Warner
Mark Weiler (http://www.youtube.com/myslowmochannel)
Derek Pueblo
Dusty Hulet
Casey Wilson
Gary Groth
Anthony Ambriz (http://www.youtube.com/AnthonyAmbrizTV)

Colorist:
Ben Brooksby (http://www.benbrooksby.com/)

This video was shot at varying frame rates between 24 - 2,000 fps. No twixtor or special effects were used.

Cameras: Phantom, Fastcam, Red Epic, 5D, GoPro

Special thanks to Steve Allred and MarSchelle Walker for building the entire slip n' slide in two hours.

Business Contact:
scottdavidwinn@gmail.com

Funny Video! WIN!!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Win! Taylor Swift Parlody, We are never ever doing that together!


We are never EVER doing THAT together...

We are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift Parody

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"We are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

I remember when we broke up the first time
Saying this is it, I've had enough, 'cause like
We haven't seen each other in a month
When you, said you, needed space, what?
Then you come around again and say
Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change
Trust me, remember how that lasted for a day
I say, I hate you, we break up, you call me, I love you

Oooh we called it off again last night
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends talk
To my friends talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together
*****

"We are Never Ever Doing THAT Together"

I remember when we hooked up the first time
Drank some lemonade and a puff
Cuz like I hadn't gotten laid in a month
When you made that booty call, yikes
Took a little work to spread my legs, crazy
A little dirty talk and chardonnay, one sip
Back then all you wanted was a lay
Now it's you spank me, we doggy, some handcuffs, it's awkward

Oooh we watched some porn again last night
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever doing THAT together
We are never ever ever doing THAT together
You go watch some porno,
Whores on their knees, Japanese
But we are never ever ever doing THAT together

Like... ever.


--
Starring Nikki Boyer, Chuck Hittinger, Rebecca Stevens, Nick Paschal, Tommy Fields, Katie Amanda Keane, George Back, Breon Bliss, John Davenport. Director: Kevin Sabbe. Writer: Keane. Music: Tommy Fields. Producers: Corey Moss, Tiffany Moore, Evan Cavic. DP: Jenn Gittings. Editor: C. Drew Unser. Props: Laura Dziamba. PA: Karla Lopez. Executive producers: Peter Principato, Paul Young, Ben Silverman, Drew Buckley.

Category:

License:

Standard YouTube License

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If you think you got a hit on your hands please email me at  FunnyWinFail@gmail.com

We in exchange help you promote your channel.


Funny Obama Yard Sign

Funny Obama Yard Sign
Funny Obama Yard Sign

Fail! Really Strange extreme Piercings - Odd People

Really Strange extreme Piercings - Odd People
Really Strange extreme Piercings - Odd People

Redneck Version Of Wake Boarding

Redneck Version Of Wake Boarding
Redneck Version Of Wake Boarding

How to: Redneck Bush Trimming

redneck lawn mower
How to: Redneck Bush Trimming

Electric General Lee Smart Car

Electric General Lee Smart Car
Electric General Lee Smart Car

Funny Work Motivational Poster

To All Employees: New Incentive Plan  Work or get fired!

Redneck / college Grill - Iron sausage grill

Redneck / college Grill - Iron sausage grill
Redneck / college Grill - Iron sausage grill

Win! XBox Controller at a football game

Win! XBox Controller at a football game
Win! XBox Controller at a football game

What it looks like when Kiss and Twilight are combined

What it looks like when Kiss and Twilight are combined
What it looks like when Kiss and Twilight are combined

Redneck Ear phones

Redneck Ear phones
Redneck Ear phones

Ultimate Nerf Warrior

Ultimate Nerf Warrior
Ultimate Nerf Warrior

Huge Mess! Kids played with pain in the living room

Huge Mess! Kids played with pain in the living room
At least it wasn't done on carpet, and they left the couch alone at least :)

A very perverted Children's book

A very perverted Children's book

Win! Awesome Sesame Street Bike

Win! Awesome Sesame Street Bike
Win! Awesome Sesame Street Bike

Funny Obama Poster

Funny Obama Poster
Funny Obama Poster
Obama - I'm gona' pop a cap in your ass

Win! Kid sleeps like Superman in Superman Pajamas !

Win Kid sleeps like Superman in Superman Pajamas !
Win Kid sleeps like Superman in Superman Pajamas !

WIN! Futurama Zoidberg Kids Halloween Costume

Futurama Zoidberg Kids Halloween Costume
Futurama Zoidberg Kids Halloween Costume

Creepy Kids Halloween Costume

Creepy Kids Halloween Costume
Creepy Kids Halloween Costume 
Check out these  Funny Bushman Scare Pranks

Cops always ruining the fun

Cops always ruining the fun
Cops always ruining the fun

Win! Awesome Toddlers Starwars Halloween Costume R2-Tutu R2D2

Win! Awesome Toddlers Halloween Costume R2-Tutu  R2D2
Win! Awesome Toddlers Halloween Costume R2-Tutu  R2D2 

The creepy old man after Halloween

The creepy old man after Halloween
The creepy old man after Halloween

WIn! Awesome Halloween Costume

Awesome Halloween Costume
Awesome Halloween Costume
I like how theres a little of everything. All he's missing is Chuck Norris or maybe this is the only thing that can combat Norris?

Creepy Barbie Halloween Costume

Creepy Barbie Halloween Costume
Creepy Barbie Halloween Costume
I know this one has been done several times and all, but its still weird, creepy and funny. Glad he was able to have fun with Halloween, not sure if I could pull this off.

Guy out smarts a cop

An elderly man is stopped by the police around at 2am and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "that would be my wife"

Extreme Nose Gauge / Piercing

Extreme Piercing 

Horrible Batman Halloween Costume

Horrible Batman Halloween Costume
Horrible Batman Halloween Costume

Horrible Hello Kitty Costume

Horrible Hello Kitty Costume
Horrible Hello Kitty Costume

New Drink Called They Sandy

New Drink Called They Sandy
New Drink Called They Sandy
Funny Hurricane Sandy joke.  Might be too soon but gave me a laugh.

Please Donate to the red cross if you can. A lot of people need help

Funny Barack Obama Picture

Funny Barack Obama Picture
Funny Barack Obama Picture

Funny Hunting Picture: Reverse Roles

Funny Hunting Picture: Reverse Roles
Funny Hunting Picture: Reverse Roles

Baby Sports Blood Gang sign

Baby Sports Blood Gang sign
Baby Sports Blood Gang sign

Strange People, Extreme Piercing

Strange People, Extreme Piercing
Strange People, Extreme Piercing

Awesome Kids Starwars Girls Halloween Costume

Awesome Kids Starwars Girls Halloween Costume
Awesome Kids Starwars Girls Halloween Costume

Awesome Kids Costume! IRONMAN

Awesome Kids Costume! IRONMAN

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Redneck Car Seats

Pretty Pink Car Seats
As long as they bolt the seats down, they will be fine

Funny Beer Bottle Trick with nipples

Funny Beer Bottle Trick with nipples
What would ever compel a person to do such a thing? 

Boyfriend Posts about Girlfriends sucking to her parents

awkward moment when when your girlfriend kisses her parents right after she sucked your dick :D

Awkward moment when your girlfriends dad reads and comments on your sttus and bans you from the house unless you make a public apology in front of the 57 people that like this status and you apologise to my daughter for making her about to be a slag. PS The excuse you were fraped aint gonna wash by the way.

Ouch another reason why us parents have facebook.

19 minutes later he has on my newsfeed again. Looks like his girlfriend wasn't best pleased with his satus either

Chucky: Awesome Kids Halloween Costume

Chucky: Awesome Kids Halloween Costume

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle: BRAIN

Awesome Pumpkin TMNT Carving

How to change a diaper

How to change a diaper

Beautiful Alaska Cabin

Beautiful Alaska Cabin
This is my dream

Car Halloween Pirate Costume

Pirate Eye Patch On a broken car

Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Virgin - JOKE

There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your Assets; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

He is going to try to put his hand somewhere inappropriate; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family!"





Shared By Tacky Fun 

CAT Balls!

CAT Balls!
CAT Balls!

Kids Rodeo - Riding a sheep

Kids Rodeo - Riding a sheep
Kids Rodeo - Riding a sheep

Hello Kitty Themed Car

Hello Kitty Themed Car
Hello Kitty Themed Car

Abraham Lincoln Penny Halloween Costume

Abraham Lincoln Penny Halloween Costume
Abraham Lincoln Penny Halloween Costume

Funny Barbie Car antenna

Funny Barbie Car antenna
Funny Barbie Car antenna 

Sexy Halloween Costume Bert and Ernie

Sexy Halloween Costume Bert and Ernie
Sexy Halloween Costume Bert and Ernie

Fuck you too Tree! Funny Nature Picture

Fuck you too Tree! Funny Nature Picture
Fuck you too Tree! Funny Nature Picture

WIN! Hot Tub Beer Cooler - How to keep beer cool

Hot Tub Beer Cooler - How to keep beer cool
Hot Tub Beer Cooler - How to keep beer cool
I want to go to this party! Thats a lot of beer and Ice!